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WORDSMITH
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#1 Story ideas/feedback
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Anyone want to discuss their story ideas or lack thereof? Not that I claim to be an expert, but I'd be willing to set up a time to hop into the chatroom with anyone who is interested.

If you want to do the chatroom, throw down a couple of times you are available. I am free mostly Mondays and Wednesdays in the evening Pacific Standard Time.

Follow this link to figure out what time it is for me in your own time zone: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

-CS
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#2 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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hmmm Neutral my story is about a badass punk who only knows how to fight, until one day hes badly hurt and helped by some girl (he only hear her voice since hes badly hurt ) pale
the story revolve about finding the girl and learn things other than fighting Cool
im mostly focus on map and dating system now , havent made progress in story Razz wonder if i should make the hero miserable (found the girl but shes already got a boyfriend) then ended up helping them together cuz he want to make her happy
Sad
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C.O.R.N.
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#3 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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BluE

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to uh... quote myself (for the 1000000th time)
Blue wrote:that sounds a bit overused...
How about (keeping that badass punk who only knows how to fight thing) he's part of a gang and the rival gang meets them for an organised fight but secretly brings more guys to ambush them (used already I know but keep reading) the rest of his gang runs but he stops for a bit, deciding wether to fight or not because as badass as he is, he still has common sense.
The hero is miserable inside because he has nothing but the gang to live for?
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#4 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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that seems way too serious for my game Smile (that story looks like already deep in the game)
my game main point would be comedy romance Razz
i want to make the player/hero look silly and awkward living in an environment that hes not used too Laughing and throughout the game hes doing all kinds of silly thing in the name of love Razz
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WORDSMITH
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#5 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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Ah, comedy/romance sounds like a good way to go for your story. So how believable do you want your characters to be? Sounds like you want to take characters that would otherwise be serious and make them comical because of their setting/circumstances.

Maybe the hero could have a friend who gets on his case because he got wounded and had to be rescued by a girl? The hero could then go on a quest to go regain his "honor" by doing something to impress this girl. She could totally reject him even, since he is just being a macho idiot.

My ideas aside, I like your premise for a story supercow. What else will this hero learn besides fighting? What will the lesson learned be, and who will help him learn it and how?

-CS
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#6 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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believable? (sorry im not very good at english)
the char is a very honest and gentle person but he live in a rough environment that change him to be secluded, so his journey is not just about finding the girl but finding his own belief in the goodness in him and other ppl.
yeah i agree with you Very Happy maybe he should be killing some godly dragon Laughing i should note this ...*note* .
i already gave him some friend/sidekick/pervert to help him Razz .
i made the 'rescue' thing to be a secret that only him and the girl know cuz it would be too embarassing to tell everyone about it. Embarassed but maybe he will be open about it later in story Rolling Eyes .
hmmm the lesson.....kindda hard to describe since i havent made progress in story Very Happy .
maybe he can learn to trust more people, that there is goodness in everyone and even in himself.
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C.O.R.N.
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#7 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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BluE

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nice, finally a game that isn't serious!
while the story its self is going to be funny, you have to think about humorous dialog aswell. Like typing with slang words. Or they could be serious but, as Cardboard said, is a funny situation.


supercow wrote:believable?

He means somthing like, how real life do you want your characters to be?


supercow wrote:i made the 'rescue' thing to be a secret that only him and the girl know cuz it would be too embarassing to tell everyone about it. Embarassed


What about he's rescued by the girl after being injured and everyone wonders where he disappeared to? After that
Cardboard Square wrote:a friend who gets on his case
is the sidekick because he's following the punk to find out what happened?
Maybe he wants to tell his sidekick what happened but doesn't trust him not to tell anyone?
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WORDSMITH
WORDSMITH
#8 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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maybe he can learn to trust more people, that there is goodness in everyone and even in himself.

Perfect idea supercow. Learning to trust is something that everyone can relate to, and works well regardless of how serious the story is. The lessons the hero learns can help guide you about how the story goes. What can you think of that would teach the character to trust? Why would and wouldn't he want to trust people? Who teaches him to trust? Or does he develop the skill without explicit help from someone else?

I think your English is good Smile

-CS
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#9 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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im going to use MONEY Smile
the setting would revolve a prestigious magic school where the girl at and would take a lot of money just to get inside. (is magic school too much predictable? other idea is the acting school Smile )
magic school = the principal is a stern wise man, funky/pervert.
acting school = a laid back principal who always tried to perform even in grave situation.
which is more interesting? Razz
i made the hero have an older sister and whenever he got money she would then take it Laughing and thought maybe his friend later would help him Wink
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WORDSMITH
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#10 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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I like the money idea! Will enemies drop money, or will there be a limited amount of money in the game?

About the magic/acting schools... When you said magic school I immediately thought that sounded oldschool classic. Anyway, here is some feedback:

Magic School: This would give the game more of a fantasy feel. Do you want that? Also, the principal character would be pretty easy to do.

Acting School: The principal would be a harder character to pull off. With the magic school, it is easy to show that the guy is a pervert or whatever. The actor principal seems like a more subtle and refined type of funny. The humor seems much more situational.

I like both ideas. Personally, I like the character of the acting school principal more, but I think a magic school might be easier to fit into your world and story. But it doesn't really matter what I like more; it matters what you like! Why don't you try writing a scene or two for each possible scenario? Write a scene where the hero talks to someone at the acting school and another scene where he talks to someone at the magic school. Or write a scene for each possible principal. You might find that one character works a lot better than the other when you are actually working with dialog and not just ideas.

My other advice is to think about which scenario works best with your main plot. Is there a reason that an actor (the girl) would be in a position to save the hero? What about as a magician? Think about which makes best sense and which you will have more fun with.

-CS
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#11 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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hahaha yeah maybe i should limit the money Smile and made all equipment in store to be super expensive to make him look so poor Laughing
i think u were right, i should have considered the setting of the whole story when the girl save him, hmmm...., i guess ill make the principal in magic school like to act Smile
well ill think about it later after i return home from touring around japan Razz
i wont be replying here for the next 2weeks or so Razz
@CS so...about ur question how believable the hero is....i still dont quite un..derstand what it means....maybe the hero is believably stupid and persistent? Wink
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WORDSMITH
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#12 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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Hey supercow. Have a great trek around Japan!

"believably stupid and persistent" sounds good. By believable I simply meant how realistic he is and how well your average person could relate to him.

See you in a couple weeks!

-CS
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#13 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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G@MeF@Ce

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@supercow - Japan? man that sounds like a fun vacation. your bad ass punk story has got made potential, glad you included the comedy... gotta have comedy.

@CS - dude this is a great topic!

to make a long story short I was once working with Skullmeat on a story last year. we haven't got to follow through on it

it's called "frankenZombies" - it's an RPG fighter in which you quest for body parts from defeated martial artists to upgrade into a kung FU zombie master!

there's a small demo of this game in my first project "POOF!" which has 7 stories that connect with each other in the end. (one of many ideas unfinished)


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WORDSMITH
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#14 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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Haha. Thanks Gameface! Kung foo zombies sound ridiculously entertaining! No plans to pick that project up again huh?

-CS
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#15 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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@CS: "have a great trek"
reply : yeah.....track....my feet is killing me man Mad, how the hell did this japanese walk all the time ? (i feel like my name lol without the super)
luckly XD the apartm provided internet yoohoo...
@Gameface : kungfu zombie sounds cool Very Happy but what is the story behind the game ?
first his dead because someone kill him and took his gf?
and then he got back because of some certain meteor\some car driver dump a load of radioactive mud to his grave(which the killer hide it)? Razz
But when he got back he know that he cant beat him yet because his body is not used to be like it used to, so he journey to get body part Laughing Razz
thats whats on my mind when i hear your martial art zombie .
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WORDSMITH
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#16 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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So how was the Japans supercow???

-CS
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#17 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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its cool and cold Smile i really like it there, the ppl r very organize and clean and respect each other Razz
wish i can live there Wink if only i can speak jap Laughing
just got back home 2 days ago, my feet still hurt Mad
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WORDSMITH
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#18 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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haha, well welcome home!

I see you are creating a game with a job system. Is that the same game as the one we have been talking about?

-CS
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#19 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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yup Cool
i was thinking of making job system in corelation to my dating system (so hard to imitate girl talk bounce )
so if you date the girl enough you can get job extension, and while at it if you do good/bad/chaos get diff job Razz
wonder if its interesting....
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WORDSMITH
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#20 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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I think it sounds way cool. Do you want to add "law" into the mix to offset chaos?

-CS
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#21 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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@cs - sure it would be nice to "resurrect the idea"

@supercow - I like your thoughts about it, was thinking more ancient times
(way before there were trucks)

welcome back from Japan, my wife and I are planning to vacation over there...
other than site seeing and being food critics, she want's to peep out 'Sanrio headquarters' (hello kitty ~ ha!) and I plan to stop by Nintendo head quarters and shop around the cities to check out the electronics over there. ^,^
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#22 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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supercow

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nintendo headquarters ?? Shocked
my feet hurt from following my brother and sightseeing temple/lake/castle/trees Sad
wish i go with you Razz
i had the chance to get into some electronic there , but i think its more expensive there (just my opinion) although brand new product might be released there early Smile and quite a range of cool gadget too Razz

(lots of weird shop ) Laughing
Spoiler:
like a breast imitation,dildo,vib, and more.... and they even put bilboard of it infront Cool ,didnt go inside cuz of my brother (he brought his [soon to be] wive Rolling Eyes )
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#23 Re: Story ideas/feedback
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