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#51 Re: Screams of Darkness
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good story you copied that from last year from that one story about
people ho go to mars because of the atomic bomb any way you should
have given the planet a number instead of mars somthing like planet
SR388 it whould have made it seem more futuristicy
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#52 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Why not just keep it Mars? It's set on Mars. I'm sure people will have no intention of renaming a planet. Lol Earth II is overused.
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#53 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Thanks Blue, Very Happy I appreciate the feedback.
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#54 Re: Screams of Darkness
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HAHA oh yea totally. C:
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#55 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Does anyone think there should be a twist at the end?
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#56 Re: Screams of Darkness
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yeah keep it up nice work. I'll have to find my M.A.N.M.A project story i think you may like wrote along time ago never finished it
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#57 Re: Screams of Darkness
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LOL, we make kinda the same stories, it is cool. Very Happy
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#58 Re: Screams of Darkness
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two sci-fi writers! excellent
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#59 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Thank you blue. Very Happy
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#60 Re: Screams of Darkness
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cyborg panda
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#61 Re: Screams of Darkness
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I will work on the story soon, originally my RPG game was going to be based on this story, but Future Blood Lines looks a lot like what I was going for lol and it totally looks cool. XD Very Happy
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#62 Re: Screams of Darkness
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I'm still screaming
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#63 Re: Screams of Darkness
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May I ask why you are screaming?
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#64 Re: Screams of Darkness
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My name is Darkness
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#65 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Your name is Blue, end of line ^_^
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#66 Re: Screams of Darkness
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@Gem - I'm hoping to read Chapter 5 before the summer ends ^,^

would be nice to see some of your illustrations...
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#67 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Ok, will finish chapter 5 and draw some things, lol a little rusty with the drawings ^^
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#68 Re: Screams of Darkness
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the more you draw the sharper it gets ^,^
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#69 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Finished the first 5 chapters woot!
Chapter One: Arrival


September 6, 3407 PLANET MARS: I woke to the sound of a crackling bang from the war on the other side of the planet. It was a sickening thought that all our wars took place on the dark side of the planet. They had told us it was for our own good, that we should not see the horrible fate of others. My name is Nienoe Seven I'm a civilian in the Mars Sector. The government has driven our city mad, we are constantly attacked by these creatures that come from the moon of Mars. I have had nightmares every night since I moved to this dreadful planet. Earth is long gone, its resources have been depleted. There has been no life on Earth for over a few years. I only have a little memory of Earth before we left for Mars. I was only Ten when we left, and that was 12 years ago.

These aliens have been given a name by the Planetary Center. They call them Tharnans. They are hunch back, and have horns growing out of their eye sockets. Their skin is blackish purple and they are blind and go by sense of smell. This is why we fight in the dark, the horrible creatures will awake then, and come in numbers to get killed off. We have advanced technology to at least hold them off. Life is not like it use to be on earth, once you have been colonized your hair,eyes, and skin change after awhile. Your hair turns glowing white along with dark Green eyes and reddish skin. It is completely normal, says the scientists. These Tharnans have not be taken down by any aircraft, if we had aircraft these pests would be long gone. Sadly the atmosphere of high above has vanished. Mars's gravitational pull is not what it use to be. If we tried to fly Gravity would take us into its clutches and pull us to darkness.

Our air ships have been unusable since we landed. The thin air at first made them rust and break down. But now there is air breathable on mars as Earth once had. When we first came we brought animals of the ground. Today meat is still supplied as everything else that does not fly. Stores as everything else have been established here as well. You could say it is just like Earth. Its not! the whole community has gone insane under these drastic measures. The human mind can only take so much. My own sanity is decreasing every day, I long for silence. Must I hear another gun shot in the fog of war without feeling regret.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! A shrill cry struck the silent town. Just then the siren went off, and said evacuate your homes immediately. I got dress and ran outside, my first glimpse of the night was three marines shooting down several Tharnans. I followed everyone to the Mars Military Blockade. As I ran I could not help but look back, the marines ran into the dark night. I heard more firing and yelling saying \"shoot it shoot it!\" Everyone in town gathered into the blockade and waited until further instructions. I was very concerned and asked a fellow marine guarding the doors what happened. \"The North Rig was ambushed, most of the creatures got away" he explained. I sat back down and saw many worried families with there children. The marines set out pillows and blankets for every one to sleep. They stood and kept guard all night, there weren't any attacks after we got into the blockade. I could not go to bed that night, I had too many things on my mind. Including the dark side of Mars.

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Chapter Two:Untruthful secrets


September 7, 3407 Military Blockade: The morning came and a lot of concerns were being discussed. There was much commotion on what we would do now. Then a man came from a door on the military side of the building. \"I would like to tell you all that you will be returning to your houses and our forces will be guarding the town\" he announced. A lot of whispering broke out in the crowd, and everyone was relieved some what. People went home and felt content like they didn't have a care in the world about what is happening. I went home an went in my room, I put on a fresh new pare of clothes. I walked out of the room and got ready for the day.

I had to buy things at the store since I have not eaten anything from being worried all night. I hopped in my land speeder and drove to Micro Mart. I went inside and something horrible happened. BANG! There was a power surge and everything in the store shut down. The worse part about it, something in the store caused it. The electrical doors would not open, people were screaming. I thought it was because the black out and that they were just being babies, I was wrong. There was a Tharnan in the store, it was one of the escaped creatures. Everyone ran towards the door yelling, as is sniffed the air it roared with fury. I ran into the isles hoping that I could buy some time for a plan to kill it. There was a tall slender pole about my height holding chips for people to buy. I took off all the bags and rubber straps. The chip holder was now a staff, this was my only weapon of defense. The Tharnan was in my isle now, it growled getting ready to attack. I position my self and was ready to take the creature down.

The beast tried to pounce on me, I dodged. In a flash it turned to face me. The Tharnan's horns were dipped in blood that had dried from its last victim. It charged, just in time I jumped and whacked the back of its head with the pole. It knocked into the isle and turned and gave me an angry stare. The creature charged again but this time at a low angle. I jumped again and grabbed on to its horns and road on its shriveled black back. It ran down all the isles trying to get me off. I had to think fast, I used one hand to pull on its left horn hard. I jammed the pole into the horn to put more pressure. Snap! The creature roared, the horn had come off. Purple blood was dripping down its face. I flipped the horn so that the sharp part was facing the Tharnan. I gave it a thrust and the horn went right into the spot I had taken the horn out of. It hit the isle so hard it knocked me off and I hit my head.

I blacked out for only a few seconds, then sat up leaning on the isle. The pole still in my hand. The Tharnan was bleeding and hissing 20 feet in front of me, waiting for me to move. I got up, my eye was bruised and I had a big cut on my face from its claw. I stood weakly wondering what it was going to do. Its tongue came out of its vile mouth. It was a form of elastic metal, it shined against my glowing hair. As I kept looking it sprung out and wrapped around the pole and pulled hard. I tugged but it the tongue was too strong, its mouth was wide open. I had a plan to kill the thing, but I only had one shot at doing it. The tongue pulled hard, I gave one last tug and then pointed the pole directly at its mouth. I ran straight forward ready to joust it in the mouth. Rrrrraaaaaa! The monster screamed, the pole was half way into its body. Purple blood was every where. I pulled the pole out of the body,and grabbed the horn that was stuck in its head. I left the corpse in the isle with the pole. I made the huge horn fit in my pocket and went towards the front of the store.

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Chapter Three:Weird changes


September 7,3407(Afternoon)Micro Mart: As I got to the front people were already being escorted out bye military men . Some people spotted me and pointed. The marines pointed their guns at me and people screamed. I put my hands up and people said \"are you crazy he killed that thing, he saved us!\" \"I am sorry sir but we need to take you to the lab to get checked.\" They drove me to the site and a doctor looked at my cuts and bruises. The doctor was an old man, Dr. Nile. \" Sorry sunny that you had to come here, we have never had a civilian get attacked by these monsters before\" he exclaimed. \"Your one tough cookie to kill one of those things without a suit or gun.\" \"Why did they take me here\" I declared. \"Well, you were attacked and we wanted to know if you were alright\"he murmured. There was something he was not telling me. But I would soon find out.

I went home that night with many questions. My face felt horrible from the scratch that I had gotten. When I tried to go to sleep I kept burning up. I finally passed out and got some sleep. I woke up in the morning feeling a little better. I lugged myself to the bath room and washed my face, then I looked in the mirror and was stunned. My hair,eyes, and skin were normal, I yelled with concern. Everything was as it was when I came to the planet. My dark-brown hair, hazel eyes, and white skin was all back. My cut was feeling much worse. I managed to take the bandage off and saw that it was purple! There were purple veins on the inside my cheek. The Tharnan had done something to me! I rushed myself to the hospital, when I went inside a nurse screamed. I made my way to the front desk avoiding it. People stared and backed away as if I was going to kill them. Even the woman at the desk jumped when she saw me. She knew why I was there and called someone on the phone. In a few minutes people in bio-hazard suits came and took me to a medical room. I waited until I got checked up.

Doctors came in into the room with worried and scared faces. One asked me if he could look at my cut. After he was done he looked concerned. \"Whats going on, whats going on with my body!\" I yelled \" Sir I don't no how to explain this, many marines have got infected like this but not with these side effects\"he muttered. \" I have never seen anything like this, you are completely cured of Mars's effects on the human body.\"It did not matter to me, I wanted to know why I was infected.\"Why am I infected though\" I demanded. \"When the Tharnan cut you, you became infected, and the infection formed and gave you its DNA \"He silently murmured.\"What, what the heck do you mean its DNA formed in me, it was only a cut\" I yelled.\"It is a big cut sir, and it is very infected and needs to be treated\" he proclaimed. I did not believe them, they said they could help me but I said no. I ran out of the hospital before they could do anything and went home.

My mind was racing when I got home. I felt light headed and weak in the legs. I thought I could get rid of this my self. My cheek looked terrible, it was spreading to my neck! I washed my face with cold water hoping it would help. Then a shot of pain went through my whole body. I heard my heart beating inside my head; I almost fell but caught myself while I yelled in panic. I was shaking, I looked into the mirror and saw my eyes change. From hazel they turned to dark purple. Something was happening to me, at that time I did not know what to do. The infection was getting worse, but the worst was about to come....

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Chapter Four:A change for the worst


I blacked out and fell to the floor in a matter of seconds. I woke the next day surprised at what I saw. My sight had changed from true color to a violet glow. I looked in the mirror and could barely make out my face. Every object I looked at was solid purple with a black out line. It was like seeing only a form of any figure with a purple filling inside. I saw no detail in anything what so ever, I felt claustrophobic inside my own mind. By my surprise the police had not come for me after I left the hospital. I assumed they had more vital problems, witch made me more eased. I had little time to waste, I needed help and I needed it fast!

It was very weird as to walking around. Although it was very hard to see anything, but objects. I some how sensed where to move and where everything was. I walked out side on to my patio to get some fresh air, I stared at the sky as the sun glared on my eyes. I hadn't even noticed I was staring right at it until I formed it's bright out line. If my eyes were normal they would have burned, but some how my purple eyes did not. I walked back inside to check the time, it was 7:36 AM. I had to find some help before the end of the day. I checked my pocket and the Tharnan horn was still there. I took it out of my pocket and examined it. I could only see the horns out line, the blood on the horn from when I pierced the creature had dried. The weird thing was, I could see the blood through my purple eyes and I could have sworn, it was glowing!

It was late afternoon when I decided to form a plan. I decided to try to find a cure by myself. I went in my room, grabbed a bag and stocked up on supplies. I took food, flashlights and more. I took out the Tharnan horn and set it on my bed. I looked under my bed to find my Saber katana I got for Christmas from my parents 3 years ago. I can’t even think about them without having tears in my eyes. It was late one night about a year ago when my parents were attacked by a Tharnan in their own home. It came out of nowhere and somehow stumbled into their backyard. It crashed through the patio door and went for them in their own room. When the police finally came the beast had already had killed them. The marines shot it down and it died. I changed after that day, wishing we never came to this planet. The scary part is……….. there is no way getting off.

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Chapter Five: Initializing retrieve data call


I packed my bags and put them in the land speeder, the morning was chill with a slight breeze. Still there was always the noise of gun fire in the distance. Everyone was gone from there houses, in was not safe anymore here. Everyone was now relocated in a safe environment somewhere in the south, so I've heard. My cheek still hurt, but the swelling had gone down. I looked normal besides my violet eyes and my healing purple cut on my face. I jumped in the land speeder and right before I turned it on I heard a loud screech just in time to notice it. I turned around and saw three Tharnans standing 45 feet away. I slowly went for my bag and pulled out my saber katana and heard a growl from one of them.

Once i had it out I jumped out of the speeder and aimed it at them. They all roared and ran straight at me. For some reason with having my violet eyes you'd think it would be hard to see them, weird thing is I saw them better than any object right now. I charged, focused on one of them and shot the saber right through it's chest, and pulled it out just in time to slice another in the face. The third pounced on me and pulled me to the ground, it's horns were right in my face. It roared and I though it was going to attack but the something happened, it's horns glowed purple and my eyes focused on the glow. Then it became quiet and stepped off me slowly and ran away screeching. I got up dusted m self off and wonder what just happened. I was confused, but I still packed up and drove off in the speeder. I was feeling better after I got my mind off everything, maybe I should have listened to the doctor and stayed but I don't trust the Planetary Center.

I was feeling better and I was scared to think the fusion of my DNA was complete with Tharnan genetics. As I drove I made a pit stop at a place called Gas and Grub, it made me laugh at how the name was catchy. I pulled up and put some gas into the speeder an went in side for some food. When I went in there was a radio playing, a Tharnan head up on the wall and people sitting either at the booths or at the bar.

As I came in everyone looked, some began there doings but some stared at me before I took a seat at the bar. When the tender came she ask what she could get me, I order and she walked away. I caught her staring at my eyes but I couldn't quiet tell if she was because my sight was violet. I ate, payed, and left to find somewhere to sleep. No where was safe anymore, things had to be done with these aliens, and I was going to end these pests one way or another.
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#70 Re: Screams of Darkness
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The 5th chapter is nice. Nice action. Just needs more spacing between the whole paragraph sorta hard to read :V
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#71 Re: Screams of Darkness
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Tank you for the feed back I will do that. Very Happy
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#72 Re: Screams of Darkness
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BluE

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is there more?
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#73 Re: Screams of Darkness
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GeMinEye

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CHAPTER SIX ALMOST DONE WOOT

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Chapter Six:Slash,Bash, and Dash


The wind was chill in the afternoon road. Nothing but dusty trails and open red rock mountains. As i was driving something caught my eye on the side of the road up ahead. I as It appeared closer I could vaguely from out the letters. It spelled "Armory Shack" and the sign said open. As I pulled up to the paring lot right in front of the store it said "parking hours from 10:00 AM - 5:30PM". Strange it was now a quarter to seven and the store was still open. Foolish of me I still went in to ask for help. As I walked in the door it made a ding sound like they have a get-and-go stores. I went up to the desk and taped the bell. I waited a couple minutes, yet no answer. Then I heard a faint noise from the back. I started towards the back saying hello. As I got to the back all I could form was cabinets ammo and all other sorts they sold here. But then something glowing had caught my eye in as I went toward it it seemed like a note. The weird thing glowing on it seemed to be a satin of blood, but not from human. I concentrated real hard on what it said and this is what I could form out

For who ever is reading this...
If anyone gets this I will have been long gone with my family to a safe location. Those Tharnans have come to the shop, my family and I are hiding and have made an emergency escape plan. They are trashing up the shop but our plan is too good to not work. Anyways here is a very special gun gun for whoever gets this message. Oh and if anyone is here.....RUN!

-Paul Stumner (manager of Armory Shack)

I then glanced at the left hand side of the note, it was a energy pistol, I couldn't make out the color but I was hand size and that all that mattered at the moment. Right next to it I found this little pack the note read "energy ammo should last for a very long time no matter how used". Just then I heard a screech from the front desk, something was here.

Will finish tomorrow have to read tonight for school. Very Happy
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#74 Re: Screams of Darkness
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