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#1 Writing exercise - house fire
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BluE

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I wrote this story in a day and edited it the next day as a random writing exercise some time around New Year's. Enjoy if you have free time!

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#2 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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G@MeF@Ce

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(without mentioning anything to give away to those who haven't read this yet)

great read + thanks for sharing bluE

if you decide to build on this, write about the day before Wink
add a little depth to the history of the house and the people who live(d) in it
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#3 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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@Blue nice job!.. its tough to keep describing fire, in a new non repetitive way!

@GF ya describing the day before or the house a little more would be nice


nice job Very Happy

ps. change the formatting, hard to read with the improper breaks.
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#4 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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BluE

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Alright ! Thanks for the feedback.
@GameF@ce: Yeah, in the original version there was almost not description at all hehe...it took a look a while to put in something that seemed cohesive enough to paint the reader's canvas or whatever. Unfortunately, I don't plan on building on it cos it'd probably end up messy and unreadable, similar to one of my earlier stories (A6?). Yeah, I don't think the foundations are good enough to warrant a makeover... :p

@swoop: Ehh~ does this mean...I did describe the fire in a non-repetitive way? I'll change the formatting.

Seeing as both of you thought that I needed to put in more detail about the setting, I'll put more consideration into the next writing piece I do. I tried to make this story more spontaneous or something (maybe....something like...the reader learns as it goes) but I think I definitely need to work on that.
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#5 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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Formating is better!

and yes you describe it well. Sometimes you describe to well, and if you real certain parts aloud you could probably eliminate an adj. or two in certain sentences, so it might flow better.

I like your dialogue between the siblings.

and skimming over it i think i saw a "usually .... usual " combo Very Happy

great work
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#6 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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BluE

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swoop wrote:
and skimming over it i think i saw a "usually .... usual "  combo Very Happy

^.^" sorry to uhh ask you to clarify... I don't know what you mean by this
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#7 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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The usually frigid marble tiles of the bathroom were pleasantly warm, lacking the usual cold sting to the soles.


its just not usually used that way Razz shall i say, a tad redundant
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#8 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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BluE

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Ahhh ok ok I see, thanks!
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#9 Re: Writing exercise - house fire
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